It's All About the Beer Buddy!
Welcome back to all of you! Thanks for waiting patiently on the new post!
Now, I'll get straight into it...
How many of you readers, and I know that there are a few, have ever just needed a beer, desperately, in an awkward time or situation? Like just after work, but the shops are shut, or when you're at a party, and there aren't any tubes left in your trust esky? Or even post-coitus?
I know that I've got that feeling right now... I have just had dinner - a pie and chips would you believe, and the good ol' can of Coca Cola just hasn't got what I need...
Questions that come to my mind at the time (now, really!)?
- Where can I get a beer right now?
- Who's got beer that I can have right now? The neighbour? Your mates?
- Who's gonna go out and get the beer? (remember you may already be tanked!)
- Can I wait til tomorrow? (obviously not)
- Is there beer in the house that I have forgotten about or haven't found yet?
- Where's the nearest bottle-shop?
- How come I've got no beer? This is like a pirate without rum!
- Who's paying for the beer? (Let's face it, a free one is slightly better!)
- What type of beer do I want right now?
Such hard, very difficult questions to ask let alone answer!
Let's try and answer these in a proper manner...
Answers:
- Well - depending on what time it is, and where in the world you are! I mean, being in bonnie ol' London, you can nearly get a beer at any time! You just have to go to the Co-Op or something, and few bob later, you are smiling again! In the U.S.of A., you can do this too as most stores sell alcohol. Mainland Europe - pretty much the same, but you can't buy your smokes at the same place! Australia - you've got Buckley's if you live in most parts of Australia. Apparently there are places in Queensland and the Northern Territories where you can get it anytime. I'm not sure though. We in P-Town (Perth to the non-locals) have a hard time getting ANY type of alcohol past 10pm drive-thru. Maybe a pub or two stay open til midnight. It sux! Unless you know a mate who has a pub or a bottle-o, you're up that creek without that paddle.
- I have on a few occasions, woken up the poor lamb of a neighbour, just to find out if they have a beer in their fridge. But the success rate has been phenomenal! My mum's neighbour drinks like a fish, and often he'd be up asking me for beer, so I've asked him for a few beers in the past. It was Emu Export or VB or something, but I actually GOT A BEER! I have woken up a few good mates in the past as well, only to get a "F$&% off!" or something like that. But when you think of all the times that my mates have WOKEN ME UP for a beer, well you'd think it was a two way street!
- Ok... How many times have you not only wanted a beer, had the money and the car, but lacked the person who could drive, or was sober enough to drive? Yeah - big problem there isn't it? I mean, yeah there have been a few mates who have risked other people as well as their own lives when looking for beer in the late hours of the night, and they have taken off down the road, and come back with the goods, but there also have been a couple of mates who went down the road and didn't come back - not because they crashed or died or anything like that - just that the good ol' 5-0 caught them being heroes... Shame things like that happen, but they do, and to those who have made it home in one piece - you lucky bastards!
- CAN I WAIT until TOMORROW - Are you friggin' crazy? Of course not! I want beer and I want it now ffs!
- This actually happened to me not so long ago. Bought a carton of Corona... took a six pack and hid it in my cupboard. 3 weeks later, frothing at the mouth for an amber, looked inside my cupboard and found the very best surprise - the six pack that I had hidden a few weeks before - the very best surprise. And I didn't have to share it with anyone, as no one else was home!!! Also found $20 in my jacket pocket at the same time - so I went and bought another six pack just for good measure!
- OK - GOOGLE MAPS - great app for anything like this! It also tells you the times it's open and how long to get there. But, if it's during the night hours, there's no point - as it's gonna be closed!
- How come I don't have any beer? Is it because I drank it all? (possibly) Is it because my mates drank it all? (possibly) Did my friends take my beer with them? (has happened before) Did I buy any in the first place? (sad but true) Did I underestimate how many people were coming? (definitely has happened before, but made some good decisions so that it doesn't happen again) Were the Irish there? (would explain a lot)
- Who's paying? Stupid question - the one with the money
- And finally - what type of beer do I want right now? When you have gone through the first bunch of questions, it usually is "I don't bloody care, as long as it's beer!" and it's usually answered with the bottom of the barrel beer that no one ever drinks, but will drink now because it's the only one available (like FOSTERS... yuk!)
So, there you have it. What we all do in this situation.
Come back next time, for more beer interviews, more ratings and more all about beer.
Cheers - And Drink On!